Hey, y’all.

We’re diving straight in this week.

I’m from a small city in North Carolina.

Something I heard more than my own name growing up there was an expression:

And that, my lil’ business family, is your lesson for this week.

No, “errbody” is not a typo.

I need you to hear it in my accent and absorb this lesson in it’s natural form.

Get ready, partner. This one’s a hell of a ride.

1️⃣ THE PROBLEM

you’re ok with “ok”

Earlier this week, I opened up about my decision to walk away from a contract after three months of grueling interviews and preparation.

It sparked a thought about this sense of scarcity many of us feel when we are trying to make a way in the world.

“I have to stay at this job, because I can’t start over somewhere new.”

“I’ve never had someone this attractive like me back, so this is the best I’ll ever get”

“Settling for these friends is smart because at least they text back quick”

People often accept the BARE minimum (and below) because at least it’s SOMETHING.

We spend time in friend groups that are toxic for the hope of belonging, accept treatment from our loved ones that we shouldn’t to avoid causing a fuss, the list goes on.

Last week, you learned what’s wrong with ignoring your gut feelings.

This lesson is an extension of that.

The problem we must resolve is what happens when you acknowledge the gut feeling, but give up on trying to improve the situation.

AKA SETTLING (ew 🤢)

2️⃣ A REALIZATION

it’s not what works FOR you or for anyone else.

it’s what works WITH you.

There is no one-size-fits-all lifestyle you can subscribe to.

You can take the easy path like I once did, and just let society dictate your life.

After giving becoming a parent, I tried hard to do all the culturally “aspirational” things.

• business mogul

• “perfect” parent

• pilates girl (ok a trial class that ish was expensive)

• a modern day housewife

• everyone’s “go-to” team member

• integral part of my community

• activist

• skincare enthusiast

• world (ok state) traveler

• socialite

Many of these aspirations, I achieved. Some, not so much.

I was a little bit of “everything” and yet I felt NOTHING.

It’s not because doing many things is negative. I love doing the absolute MOST.

I felt nothing because I was extending all my energy towards half-assed goals that were made by other people without putting in the daily work to nurture both those goals and myself.

I was settling for a path with no purpose and a lot of excuses about being “too busy” to actually achieve anything meaningful.

But at least I could relate to others 🤷🏻‍♀️

(TW: mental health)

Pt 1. We settle because it’s easy.

It is surprisingly easy to do what does not align with your life.

I’ve taken jobs that made me miserable and made life choices that left me worse off. It was insultingly easy every time.

Overextending myself for someone else’s ideals? Oh, absolutely. For something I didn’t even want.

Choosing to be dissatisfied and operate in “what if” land is EASY.

SETTLING (ewwwww 😷) is EASY.

It’s why so many people do it time and time again.

Yet, the opportunities I craved and the successes I’ve achieved throughout my life have all come through a path of resistance.

• starting a business on top of full-time work.

• doubling back to graduate college after failing a whole semester (thanks postpartum depression!)

• pivoting from assistant to project manager, to tech consultant with no guidance

• even now, diving into content creation as I grow this part of my little business world

• shoot, starting this podcast (launching soon) with just vibes and some research!

These things cost me a great deal of energy, but actually bring me fulfillment.

You can have a beautiful family life, successful business, hobbies, and your health.

But you can’t have them because they look good on paper and land in your lap.

You can’t have them because you did a day or two of planning and now just expect them to come your way.

In order to receive the type of outcomes you are looking for, you have to become the type of person that can handle those circumstances.

You do that by putting in the work to get them because they align with your purpose. Whatever that is.

We settle because it’s familiar

How many people do you know personally who hate their life? their partner? their job?

For most of us, that’s a lot of people in our circle or family.

Media feeds into this. Movies reinforce this (if you’re watching the wrong ones).

The system is built to make you feel bad about your life.

Sad? Buy more alcohol. Self-conscious? Get the latest cosmetic procedure.

Society largely pressures you to just “be like everyone else, follow this life path, and you’ll be happy.” Then, disgruntled, you follow the steps only to find yourself unimpressed.

You know what’s hard?

Taking a good look inside yourself.

You know what’s not simple?

Choosing to pursue happiness even when every external pressure is begging you not to.

You know what’s not relatable?

Actually investigating what feels good and nourishes your soul, even if other people find it “cringe” or “weird".”

What’s for you just might not be for everybody else. You might catch some side eye.

Do it anyway.

Because everything ain’t for eerbody. And THAT’S OK

3️⃣ THE SOLUTION

take 4 steps to move on from settling for good

Don’t want to get married? Awesome, stop chasing that standard.

Not interested in moving up a corporate ladder for more money? No worries! Get a side hustle or go into business for yourself.

Tired of the city life and want to live in a van? Ok cool, go do that then.

You’re not everybody.

You’re you.

Meditate, pray, whatever makes you feel at peace with your inner world.

Be HONEST with yourself about what you want—not what looks good to your friends and family. What you WANT. What’s calling to you.

Ignore the self-doubt, cringe, or sadness if it arises.

Take a deep breath and get ready to STOP settling

(even though it’s oh so easy and familiar)

How to exit your Settling Era

1. When making a decision, ask: “Do I even want this?”

   If no, let it go. If yes, move to step 2.

2. If you want this, ask: “What does it take to get there?”

   Knowing these steps is it worth it? If no, let it go. If yes, move to step 3.

3. If it’s worth it, determine what you’re missing between the person you are now and the person who has that desired outcome.

4. Take steps every day (or at least 5 times a week, shit happens!) to reach that goal.

   …and don’t stop until you get there ♥️

4️⃣ NUANCE 💫

what’s for you now might not be later.

There was a time that I thrived by staying out late with my friends, getting 2-3 hours of sleep, and waking up the next day for a run.

Now?

Sleep is my best friend.

Every time I try to stay up late, I’m up at 4am the next day (like clockwork) wondering why I thought it was a good idea to be up that long.

“Regular” going out looks like a concert or quick dinner rather than bars and clubs.

My mornings—which used to be jam packed with workout, shower, sprint to work—are my peace. My time with me and the world before the craziness that being a mom, wife, and business owner brings.

Not to say I can’t get down from time to time 💃 

But what works with me?

• staying on my health journey (forward!)

• relaxing to music in my own home

• having a clear mind to tackle client work

• reading more books and less exposure to strobe lights

• getting out when I actually have something enriching to do

• spending more quality myself instead of just distracting myself with the noise

Until next week,

• “Not Like Us” is the proper BPM for hands-only CPR

• don’t leave your valuables behind in your car

• & always remember to say “I love you”

Love,

your business Mom

Anna Bullock

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