Heyyyyyy business fam 👋

I’ve been thinking about an expression

“NEVER meet your heroes” 👀

Its sentiment is uttered in headlines, scripts, and even songs.

What a strange expression.

This crossed my mind when meeting with a colleague who is clearing out her virtual rolodex after yet another high profile contact is tangled in scandal.

“Heroes” are hard to come by.

Many of us are suffering from a lack of positive role models.

💁🏻‍♀️ your problematic fave went too far and got cancelled

🤨 you learned more about someone you admire and the math did not math

😖 you had to take ✨particular✨ artists out of your playlists

mini-lesson: take the time…remove them from the playlist it saves you SOOOOO much headache. oooo and hide the artist while you’re at it, life changing.

They say “never meet your heroes” because you will be disappointed.

• when they fail

• when they turn out to be jerks

• when they get caught for horrific crimes

• when they’re just … different … than you expected them to be

I say it’s better to know than to follow blindly.

You don’t need to find a way to preserve the imaginary ideal of your heroes.

YOU JUST NEED BETTER HEROES 🦸🏻‍♀️

1️⃣ A PROBLEM - you value a love built on parasocial perception more than the person

It’s SO easy to get wrapped up in a role model, celebrity, or industry leader.

This often leads to fans developing an unhealthy attachment or obsession with the person of interest.

(see, examples of Beatlemania)

Your favorite artist?
Might be cheating on his wife at every tour stop.

That awesome investigative journalist?
For all you know they’re paying off someone at another publication to scoop their story.

The teacher you look up to?
She could be struggling with addiction or gambling and you don’t even know.

You “loooooove” Pedro Pascal, but you don’t love THE MAN, just the idea of him
(I’m sure he’s a great guy, but I had to think of someone universally ‘loved’ lol)

You can admire these people for their creative output. Buuuuuut you don’t have to put them on a pedestal.

YOU DON’T KNOW YOUR HEROES, until you know them.

We are often attracted to people

for their perceived characteristics.

The artist: talent or how something they make creates feelings in others

The business mogul: the business acumen, the lifestyle, or the money

The athlete: the talent, the work ethic, the skill, or the validation

The star: their magnetism, fashion sense, or social life

BUT PERCEPTION IS NOT LIVED REALITY.

(sorry for all the caps y’all, but it’s how I’m feeling today)

They say “don’t meet your heroes…”

2️⃣ THE REALIZATION - you don’t need to avoid meeting your heroes…just GET BETTER HEROES

I don’t have a kinder way to say this to you.

most 👏 people 👏 with 👏 a 👏 platform 👏 are 👏 not 👏 on 👏 your 👏 side 👏

SUSAN B. ANTHONY was a racist.

You know the lady who is given near solitary credit for women’s suffrage in America?

yeah, her.

Growing up, I was taught to idolize certain figures for their “bravery”

The older I got, the more of them I learned were wife beaters, slave owners, and other horrifying truths.

I turned away from traditional, sensational “heroes” and towards other figures.

• the boss at Arby’s who treated us with kindness

• my kickboxing coach, “Coach”

• Kiana Ledé (yes, that Kiana Ledé — see why here)

I still maintain a healthy lack of attachment to their day-to-day, but I look up to them knowing they’re incredible people.

 3️⃣ RESULTS - meet your heroes, love them after

I only have a few “heroes” left. One of them is Smino (see below).

Why?

• Pillar of his community

• Creates beautiful music and art

• knows who he is and doesn’t switch that up for anyone

• Willing to grow

• Settled in his purpose

Go listen to the music, it explains itself.

Kiana Ledé?

Same vibe.

• Not afraid to stand up to abuse, even if the industry pushes her down for it

• advocates for herself AND others around the globe

• an artist against Apartheid (as she should!)

• beacon of light in an otherwise shady landscape of fame-hungry creatives

When I met her? Disappointment could not be found in the room with us.

Go. Meet your heroes.

If THEY don’t meet your standards, take that “hero” title away.

You’re the one that gives in power. Use it wisely.

4️⃣ BONUS lesson - the nuance ✨

You can never know everything.

Even the best people should still be regarded as normal humans, capable of mistakes.

We’re all equal, even your purest of heroes.

Until next Thursday, unsolicited advice from your business Mom…

• WASH YOUR HANDS,

• KNOW YOUR RIGHTS,

• and use your voice every chance you get.

Love,

your business Mom

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