My dear business family,

Each week I will be sharing lessons and insights from my time in the world of business, especially since becoming a mother (because WHEW, being a working parent shows you a LOT about the world around you).

Though I love to yap, I want to make sure these lessons are actionable and convenient for you to absorb during your busy week. Since I don’t always keep it brief, you can skip to the headings for the abridged insights. ✨

Most lessons will come with—

1️⃣ a problem or misstep

2️⃣ the realization or understanding

3️⃣ results (after #2 is applied)

(and sometimes a bonus lesson for those who read the whole thing 😉)

I love a structure, so you’ll see this often. I can’t promise always, because a little chaos is good for the soul.

Now that you’re caught up on how we will be doing things around here, let’s dive in to this week’s lesson: you have to show up to be invited!

1️⃣ A PROBLEM - you’re avoiding (parts of) your life because you’re scared to be perceived

I have to be honest. I failed you.

This newsletter (and soon podcast 😉) could have started years ago.

My fear of being perceived got in the way and kept us apart. 😩

To be even more honest, this isn’t the first time that being scared to show up has cost me value in life.

• friendships

• promotions

• contract opportunities

• networking relationships

• fun experiences

• new certifications

• awards

• you name it, I’ve probably avoided it at least once 🫣

2️⃣ THE REALIZATION - you have to know you deserve it, and then take steps to get it

This avoidant behavior stemmed from my lack of self love. I liked myself. I was confident. I was not, however, truly in the practice of valuing and caring for myself.

I didn’t love myself the way I should, so I didn’t feel deserving of these things. I questioned every positive outcome in my life and worked double time to apologize for and excuse them away.

You’ve probably said the same things—

• “I wouldn’t have been picked anyway; glad I didn’t waste time applying”

• “She probably just said that to be kind. I don’t think she actually likes me or wants to be friends...”

• “I can’t possibly learn how to use that new software; I’ll leave that more more tech savvy people”

Eventually, I got tired of this. As I grew self respect, I yearned more to try things, take risks, and show up.

After years of falling on my face, I’ve dusted myself off.

I’m determined to move forward. To do better.

To show up for myself, and by extension you all. 🫶

 3️⃣ RESULTS - once you show up, they will show out! 💃

When you stop hiding from the world, it responds with abundant opportunity.

We live in what many people call “the attention economy” and it applies both in personal life and business alike.

The main idea is that you have to be visible to get attention, people’s attention is limited, people only see what’s available to them, so attention = value. You could be the GREATEST person out there, but if people don’t know you’re out there…you’re just being great all by yourself. Which is cute, but you won’t get growth this way.

It applies like this:

• Want to stand out to your crush? Talk to them.

• Interested in a promotion? Share a Q1 report with your supervisor about your wins this quarter.

• & the list goes on.

These results are not immediate. They are not guaranteed. That’s why most people do not stick it out to see these results come to life.

When I started freelancing, I was spending 20+ hours of my week applying for contracts, with little to no result.

My first 5 months of freelancing while trying to leave corporate, I spent $150 and countless hours on applications and membership fees…and made a whopping $0. And BONUS, I almost got scammed by someone posing as the head of a business I wanted to work with. Y’ALL, it was embarrassing.

I could have stopped. Many people would have.

Instead, I grinded and kept showing up to apply for freelance work,

• even when I was scared coworkers would find my Upwork profile

• even when I thought it was “cringey” to raise my rates over time

• even when fear told me to stop while I was ahead

The results?

• have not had a “boss” in almost 5 years

• a 6-figure service business

• earning double my old yearly salary (2 x $52k) in a single quarter of business

• exponentially more time with my family

AKA—I showed up. And I got invited to a LOT of opportunities.

4️⃣ BONUS lesson - the nuance ✨

I could stop the newsletter here. That last section makes me look really good 😊 so why not?

The point of this newsletter is to teach you “hard lessons on surviving in business with the warmth and brutal honesty that only a mother can give.”

⬇️

SO I’m gonna get really vulnerable with you now.

This approach works, however it can only target one problem at a time—meaning you have to “show up” for EACH area of your life in order for it to be successful.

& it will be in vain if you stop maintaining the wins once you have them.

Two years ago, I was making consistent income despite no formal marketing efforts.

My business was flourishing.

☝️ Yet still, I was cracking at the seems.

Trying to break out of this, I went on just one podcast and got so anxious after that I retreated back into my shell 🐢

Seeing a little bit of success in my career and life sent me into an unexpected spiral of self-doubt.

• feeling like a bad mom because I was working all the time

• reinforcing the lingering effects of postpartum depression with my own words

• doubting my intellect any time my skills were questioned in an interview

• scrapping EVERY build until it was “perfect” so I wouldn’t disappoint my clients (I see you, perfectionists 👀)

I shrank into myself. Kept my online presence to contracts & applications only.

“Nobody will know I’m not deserving of my opportunities if I hide them.”

By what I can only describe as fate, during this spiral I met an incredible therapist who slowly, diligently worked to help me climb out of this hole. When I was finally ready to receive the message, she got through to me. We have her to thank for this lesson.

Nothing matters if every day of your life lacks basic survival tactics

• you actually have to sleep or your body WILL start to fight your brain

• working at 110% through severe illness WILL put you in the hospital eventually

• & returning to 110% after just a week off (you guessed it!) WILL put you back there again

• only eating takeout because you’re “so busy” working WILL double your body weight with the right circumstances

• stopping all your self-care habits like exercise and taking walks breaks down your body

• & all the above create a toxic cycle of getting less and less OK.

Once you get those down, you have to dig deeper

• your words matter, so you have to speak kindly to yourself

• people pleasing will not make people like you, but it can make you dislike yourself

• sometimes life is hard and you have to do things (even when you don’t “feel” like it)

• no, really…you have to do a bunch of hard things that you don’t think yet that you can do

That nuance—tackling one goal at a time, and adding daily maintenance after to KEEP it—can be hard to swallow.

I don’t have a magic pill that can make you fit, strong, successful, and full of love in your life.

Anyone who says ONE thing is the key to this desired balance is lying to you, so RUN.

The honest reality is that the key to being successful is improving an area of your life, then putting systems in place to maintain that better state. Then focusing on the next area that needs TLC and repeating the process. The more you do this, the more you will be saddled with little daily tasks that keep your life pretty awesome, and the better you will get at recognizing and pushing through problems.

I don’t have to write this newsletter. Definitely don’t need to start the podcast soon. But I’m going to anyway.

Why?

I’ve got the work thing down. I’m a pretty stellar parent if I do say so myself. My marriage is fulfilling and gets the love it needs. I take a lot of time to enjoy my alone time and my hobbies too.

That’s great! YET, I’m not making the impact I want to in the world.

I have a platform (and let’s be honest, some privilege) that has been sitting dusty on a shelf. Seeing this as my new area for improvement last year, I decided and committed to creating a channel for empowerment that I wish I’d had when I was stuck at a dead-end job taking all the abuse that came my way because I didn’t know I deserved better.

My health got in the way when I first had this idea, so—in the spirit of this whole lesson—I took care of that first.

Now, I’m back and I’m better. And we are going on a beautiful journey together each week here in the newsletter community.

Until next Thursday, a few more unwarranted reminders from your business Mom…

• look both ways before crossing the street

• always say NO to a lowball offer

• remember to use lotion (because my business fam will NOT be ashy!)

• & remember to show up, so life can show out for you.

Love,

your business Mom

p.s.

Want to learn about my “business Mom” AKA the woman who inspired this whole venture? Check out LinkedIn for my latest Throwback Thursday tribute to the one and only Linda Hogan.

Want to see more day-to-day tips and resources? Follow me on LinkedIn

Interested in working together? Reach out directly.

Aspiring podcast guest? Filming for Season 1 starts soon! Apply here.

Looking to sponsor an episode (or a few)? Let me know.